Mission before Dasvidanya

I wrote the initial part of this post in August this year on a plane to Delhi after seeing the movie Dasvidanya. Somehow never got to completing it.

 

Dasvidanya… Well not now but then you never know when…

My grandmother died of cancer. My mother has undergone successful surgery and treatment for cancer (touch wood). My maternal aunt is going through treatment currently. My first cousin died a painful death by cancer. I am quite sure chances of me dying from cancer are very high.

Cancer can lead to very painful death. They don’t show that in the movies. One doesn’t really die healthy of cancer. Last few months are actually very very painful. If you undergo chemo therapy, which you most likely will, you are screwed. You become very weak and pretty much dependent on others for everything. But people do survive cancer. It is not insurmountable, especially breast cancer. Just got to take precautions and get surgery done immediately. There is no cure other than surgery and chemo/radio therapy. (Disclaimer, I am not a doctor. This is not medical advice or opinion, only personal experience.)

So what am I doing with my life? Not much. Will many people come to my funeral? I don’t know but I hope people will mourn me wherever they are. What’s my “Things to do before I die” list? I have been lucky. I have done the regular stuff. .. buy a house, car, travel, friends, love etc. etc. I don’t particularly have any regrets. Do I have enough for my family if I die? Probably enough for them to survive till they get back on their own feet. But I am sure (well, at least I hope) money won’t be enough to fill the chasm but at least there is enough to survive for some time.

So what then is to be done before I die? Sometimes I feel very content and satisfied. No specific goals to achieve anymore. I do try to make a difference in people’s lives, to give more than I receive in ever interaction. But not necessarily charity, I don’t do much of that. Wonder if I am already dead with no really strong desire. It is important to have desires in life, to feel alive, to feel that life is worth living. Okay, I don’t particularly want to die. No suicidal tendencies here, don’t get freaked out please. But for a minute, if I were to imagine my death, would I regret it, would I wonder, “Oh no I still haven’t done that, I need more time”? Probably not. That’s what I mean. I love to be alive and am thankful for being healthy and alive and kicking. But life is incomplete without a mission, something that I can actually die for. Yeah, that’s what I need… a mission in life!!!

This post has ended being a seriously self-reflective post. I really didn’t know how this would go.

Rich People Don’t Make a Good Story?

Just as men don’t make an interesting story, I think rich people don’t make a good story unless there’s an angle of some realism (read ordinary people) in their lives. I managed to catch The Informers (2008) movie last night. It is a wannabe Oscar winner (or at least a nomination) with multiple stories running parallel. There are rich teenagers/youth on drugs, having group sex all the time. A rich movie director who wants to get back to his sleeping-with-a-young-guy wife because divorce is going to be very expensive for him. His son and daughter hate their family and are on drugs mostly. Then there’s a very famous rock star who tours in his private jet. He is always on drugs and alcohol and gets his kicks by sleeping with underage kids and hitting prostitutes because he is very pained that his wife doesn’t allow him to even talk to his own son, let alone meet him. There’s a divorced father trying to make amends with his son by taking him to a holiday to Hawaii but ends up making a pass at a girl his son befriended. Not to be completely overshadowed by rich spoilt people, there’s a poor(er) doorman who wants to be an actor but is overshadowed by his criminal uncle who kidnaps a kid and keeps him in his home.

I actually like movies that have many stories running parallel that somehow all come together and connect up. But The Informers is no Babel or Crash, which incidentally are also a cocktail of stories primarily about the rich people that don’t necessarily show them as losers, and have a larger proportion of “reality” in the mix. The Informers desperately tries showing the emotions, pain and emptiness of the lives of really rich people, but to me they just appear as pathetic losers, brought up with no self-discipline and are completely wasting their lives. Don’t waste your time on this movie.

Arranged or Love Marriage?

I was listening to a program on radio that was discussing arranged marriage vs. love marriage. They had two people who seemed like adult parents and another younger (probably unmarried) girl. The compare was the other young (probably unmarried) guy. So two parents and two youths. The compare could do well to hone more of his comparing and moderation skills. If you are the compare/moderator in a debate, you need to listen and be open to both points of view, but then that’s another post.

One can actually debate either way about arranged and love marriages. I feel people lean towards any one of them depending on their perception. For example, the general perception about arranged marriages is that the girl and boy don’t have a choice and the partners are chosen by parents. And the perception about love marriage is that girl and boy have all the freedom and no consent is required from the parents. I think the truth lies somewhere in the middle.

Of course, given the diversity of India, all kinds of cases exist. I can only speak from my experience of urban India. Now a days, in arranged marriages while parents do the initial search, the boy and girl do have a say in selecting (or rejecting) their partners. And in love marriages, the girl and boy do look for consent of parents and the parents aren’t always saying no for the sake of no. Neither arranged or love marriage is guaranteed to succeed and it is hard to say which one has more of a chance to succeed. As long as both partners have patience to make it work, either can succeed, or either can fail.

Pic by:

Captain Nandu Chitnis / CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

Jock, Nerd or Geek?

Is President Obama a real Nerd or Geek? Brilliant!!!

Kuchh is Tarah

Kuchh is tarah

Teri palken… meri palkon se milade

Aasoon tere, saare… meri palkon pe sajade

kuchh is tarah

Tu har ghadi, har waqt mere saath raha hai

Haan ye jism kabhi door, kabhi paas hi raha hai

Jo bhi gham hain tere, unhe tu mera bata de

Kuchh is tarah teri palken meri palkon se milade

Aasoon tere saare… meri palkon pe sajade

Mujhko to tere chehre pe, ye gham nahin jachta

Jayaz nahin lagta, mujhe gham se tera rishta

Sun meri guzarish, ise chehre se hata de

Sun meri guzarish, ise chehre se hata de

Kuchh is tarah teri palken meri palkon se milade

Aasoon tere saare… meri palkon pe sajade

Kuchh is tarah teri palken meri palkon se milade