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Arranged or Love Marriage?

November 4, 2009

KanyadaanI was listening to a program on radio that was discussing arranged marriage vs. love marriage. They had two people who seemed like adult parents and another younger (probably unmarried) girl. The compare was the other young (probably unmarried) guy. So two parents and two youths. The compare could do well to hone more of his comparing and moderation skills. If you are the compare/moderator in a debate, you need to listen and be open to both points of view, but then that’s another post.

One can actually debate either way about arranged and love marriages. I feel people lean towards any one of them depending on their perception. For example, the general perception about arranged marriages is that the girl and boy don’t have a choice and the partners are chosen by parents. And the perception about love marriage is that girl and boy have all the freedom and no consent is required from the parents. I think the truth lies somewhere in the middle.

Of course, given the diversity of India, all kinds of cases exist. I can only speak from my experience of urban India. Now a days, in arranged marriages while parents do the initial search, the boy and girl do have a say in selecting (or rejecting) their partners. And in love marriages, the girl and boy do look for consent of parents and the parents aren’t always saying no for the sake of no. Neither arranged or love marriage is guaranteed to succeed and it is hard to say which one has more of a chance to succeed. As long as both partners have patience to make it work, either can succeed, or either can fail.

Pic by:

Captain Nandu Chitnis / CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

9 Comments leave one →
  1. November 4, 2009 10:52 am

    There has been a lot of debate on this. At the end of the day its the couple who have decide and its their life. I don’t buy the practice of someone else should deciding on your life.

  2. November 4, 2009 1:26 pm

    yeah, i too agree that the middle path is more common these days in urban india. But at the end of the day, no body can guarantee a successful relationship in either situation 🙂

  3. November 8, 2009 5:32 am

    The couples these days take time between the roka and the actual wedding..this time gives them to discover each other. And I agree with Sakhi – no body can guarantee a successful relationship!

  4. lifeofhues permalink*
    November 8, 2009 9:39 am

    Looks like a theme for a new post is emerging – what makes a marriage succeed?

  5. November 9, 2009 1:16 pm

    Theres no mantra for successful marriage – to each his/her own! Its too difficult to put it in a parameter…aint it?

  6. November 10, 2009 11:17 am

    I am sure there might be some… ummm as they call them…. best practices 🙂

  7. November 13, 2009 4:55 am

    I have a blog about my life in the US how my marriage is being arranged and weather i think marriage vs. love marriage

  8. November 13, 2009 4:56 am

    I have a blog about my life in the US how my marriage is being arranged and weat i think about arranged marriage vs. love marriage

  9. November 16, 2009 3:18 pm

    Look forward to reading about your experiences Ziren on your blog.

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