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I am a Simple Man

July 8, 2013

I am a simple man. Really simple. I take things at face value. If someone tells me something, I listen, and believe. If I tell someone I understand, I expect them to believe. I don’t probe or speculate into what the other person might be thinking, or what might be the motive of the other to do, or not to do something, anything. If I tell someone why I did or didn’t do something, anything, I expect it to be taken at face value.

Yes, I guard myself from painful emotional situations. That’s just the way I am. I don’t want to go through emotional pain. I feel life is too short to suffer emotional pain. Sometimes it makes me look like a coward. A coward who doesn’t talk, who doesn’t discuss, because he is afraid. Yes, I am afraid. Perhaps I am also Utopian. Why should there be any pain in relationships? Why not just live above all emotional pain. Just being happy.

Happy at any cost? Happy thinking if I close my eyes, the world can’t see me. Happy at shutting out everything. It’s like an automatic safety system. The emotional guard just comes up at the slightest of a hint. Should I be like that? I don’t know. Why am I like that? Perhaps it is multitude of emotional turmoil I have been through in my life. It’s like how turtles go in their shell at sign of danger, or how some animals play dead. My emotional guard has now become my subconscious. It’s not that I don’t understand what others might have also gone through. Different people have different ways of dealing with it.

I prefer if you just tell me what hurt you, or what you didn’t like. I promise I will do my best that it won’t happen again. I promise to do everything that makes you happy. 

 

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